Strange and Funny New Stories and Headlines I really had to laugh at a story I heard on the news and posted it on Facebook. A guy in Turkey who had too much to drink wandered out into the woods. After a while a search party was organized to look for him. They were searching for hours when someone called out his name and one of the searchers answered. Apparently, the drunk guy had joined the search not realizing it was him they were looking for. It made me think about some of the funny stories that appear on the news at times. Some of them are so outrageous you know they are not true. One of these stories I have mention before I call an oldie but a good one. A story appeared in a newspaper which stated a group of gorillas were looking for a lost baby gorilla and they went into an African village and began knocking on doors. When I read this at first, I mentioned the fact I didn’t believe it to my coworkers who were amazed by it. The next day a retraction appeared. You have to wonder who edits the headlines some days. How about this headline, Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25. Are you kidding me, how did a headline like this ever get past the editor? One headline which became famous had to do with a grizzly murder. It stated Headless Body Found in Topless Bar. You have to admit while the murder was terrible, the headline was a stroke of genius. Jackson, Mississippi has a big problem. A masher is going around the city. He or she is placing bowls of mashed potatoes on cars in the area. Poor Jackson, Mississippi, there seems to be a lot of things going wrong there. Someone has been steeling wheels off cars there. The wheels are not coming off of just any cars. The thief or thieves are stealing them from police cars. This reminds me of another true story. There was a man on trial for stealing cars, but he was not in jail. During the lunch break the jurors were given lunch in the jury room which overlooked the parking lot where the judges and staff had their cars. The jurors called for a court officer and told him they saw the defendant in the parking lot and he was stealing hubcaps. A man in Missouri decided he could sell a catalytic converter online. If you are going to take a picture to post online you should always check out what is in the background first. It wasn’t long before the police came and locked him up. Apparently, there was a large bag of meth in the picture. A restaurant chain decided to sell onion rings for consumers to take home. The chain has been sued and guess what the suit alleges? It alleges there are no real onions in their onion rings. Last year a burglar broke into a business. The business was located in Toronto, Canada. He decided to eat something while he was there and I guess he left his DNA all over the place, but he left a better clue than that. He left a photo of himself there. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before he was arrested. Some people have all the luck. One headline talks about a Florida man who decided to open his own business. He opened an auto shop. On that day he also found out he had won one million dollars in a lottery. It may not have been a funny story, but it was an incredible one. Whoever wrote this headline was so right. Forecasters call for weather on Monday. They might as well have said there will be weather forever. Another headline really makes one think. It is Miracle Cure Kills Fifth Patient. I don’t think too many people will be trying that cure. Here is a really great headline. Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney. This is almost has good as the topless bar headline. Yet, here is another one of that type. Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs is Armed and On the Run. Really!! A Texas driver somehow thought he could fool police into letting him drive in the car pool lane. The police caught on right away to his scheme. Some others have tried using dummies in the passenger seat, but as far as I know he was the only one trying to use a skeleton. Sometimes you wonder why certain objects were made, and even more about why anyone would steal them. That was the case when a statue was stolen in Wisconsin. The headline proclaimed Sculpture of Humpty Dumpty on a Toilet stolen in Wisconsin. One headline talked about a real sticky situation. Did you ever depend on someone else to put eyedrops into your eyes? Maybe you shouldn’t after reading this headline. Man glues girlfriend’s eye shut after mixing up eyedrops with toxic glue. If I was her, I wouldn’t stick around with this guy. Well, I guess hamburgers are okay to eat because a man just proved it. This headline tells it all. MacDaddy: Guinness record holder ate McDonald’s Big Macs daily for 50 years. Some news is just so strange. Take this headline for example. Missing man found dead inside dinosaur statue in Spain. This sure leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I guess if you have to fall, do it with style. One headline read, A Man Fell Into An Art Installation Called Descent Into Limbo. The man was visiting the Fundacao de Serralves Museum of Contemporary Art in Porto, Portugal when he fell into the work which had a large hole in the center. What could be stranger than this story? A man purchased an island for over 8 million dollars. You would think this guy had plenty of money, anyway, he was arrested in Florida for stealing in Kmart. You just can’t make this stuff up. Lucky you can’t steal an island. The last headline I would like to mention is, Man Arrested For Alleged Aggressive Mopping. He didn’t like the way a female employee was doing it. It is being said some of the residents think there is a sinister message behind the bowls. What could a bowl of mashed potatoes mean? There was a very unusual jail break in Louisiana. A group of toddlers broke out of a day care center. They almost got away with it until a driver spotted them near a highway. Needless to say, the day care center lost its license and rightfully so. The four toddlers are back in good hands. One has to admit it is pretty amazing how they worked together to sneak out.
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